Trailer!

A piercing violin note. The Universal Studios logo appears, then fades out. A drum. Cut to a ship of the line flying the Union Jack. Cut to the same ship laying alongside an American merchantman. Fade-out with another drum. Cut to a struggling American sailor, held by two marines.

American Sailor: Please, sir, I haven’t done no wrong!

British Lieutenant: Just come aboard, young man, be a good sport. You’re in the his majesty’s service now—and that means discipline!

Cut to the American sailor being whipped by a cat o’ nine tails. Scream. Fade out.

Cut to James Madison at his desk, a note in his hands.

Madison: These impressments must stop!

He slams the desk.

Narrator (As American soldiers run down a street): This summer, a fledgling nation…

Cut to cannons lined on a battlefield.

will pit itself against the greatest empire…

Cut to a CG shot, starting at the front of the line and then receding to reveal oncoming hordes of marching Redcoats kicking up dust.

the world had ever known.

Madison (pacing in front of a line of soldiers): At times like these, you have to ask yourself—is democracy worth fighting for? What will you give for your country? Are you ready—are you ready—to die for the cause? They may take our lives, but they will never take…OUR FREEDOM!

Cut to Lake Champlain, where a British and American ship exchange furious broadsides. Cue choral music. Cut to the burning of Washington, D.C. Cut to soldiers struggling through a swamp during the invasion of Canada. Cut to a scalping. Cut to cannon fire. Cut to a pioneer woman looking at her husband with an expression of emotional pain.

Cut to Andrew Jackson, standing on a hilltop.

Andrew Jackson: They want to test the mettle of Americans? Let ‘em try.

Cannon shells are falling around.

Aide: General Jackson, you should take cover, sir.

Jackson: Damn the cover! No American should take cover.

Cannon shot blasts the aide off the hill.

Second Aide: General Jackson, sir…

Jackson: He died for his country. That’s enough.

Choral music restarts. Cut to a ship turning in rough seas, sending up sheets of spray. Cut to an American soldier passionately making out with a pioneer woman, whose dress, just barely out of frame, seems to be coming off. Cut to a fusillade of shots. Cut to an exploding fruit cart. Cut to an Indian brandishing a bloody hatchet.

Jackson: This is your chance to show them the true mettle of a frontiersman!

Sudden silence. Cut to a British invasion fleet making an amphibious assault. Boatloads of men are rowing in dead silence toward the shore. With them is a detachment of trolls and several CG sharks, who appear to be on the British side. An American watchman sights the invasion force and stares, ashen-faced and wide-eyed.

Watchman: What the he—

Hands appear out of the darkness and muffle his scream. Cue serious cello theme, with bass drum accompaniment every first beat.

NO COMPROMISE

Jackson draws his saber.

NO RETREAT

Madison: By all the powers of Hades, I charge you men to stand your ground!

NO MERCY

Cut to a group of Indians in full war paint leering at a calm and peaceful frontier fort.

Indian: Heap big scalps.

Other Indians grin maliciously.

IT WAS A WAR LIKE NONE OTHER

Cut to Andrew Jackson and a British envoy, atop a fort wall in New Orleans looking over the Gulf of Mexico.

Envoy: General, you are outnumbered. The only gentlemanly option left to you is surrender.

Jackson: Surrender! By Jingo, if you so much as mention the word again…

Envoy: You refuse to…eh, capitulate?

Jackson: I think that’s a foregone conclusion. We fight!

Envoy: But—but this is bloody madness!

Pause. Jackson glares out of the side of his eyes.

Jackson: Madness? No. This – is – America!

Kick. Envoy takes a dive.

Screen goes black. One by one, with a thundering boom, each massive red letter appears:

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Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderas, Keifer Sutherland, Paris Hilton and Sir Ian Mckellan in: 1812: A War Like None Other. Coming to theaters nationwide on July 22nd.